Bone Dry Faith

If you are anything like me, you have had times where your faith has felt dry. Times when you wished you were more passionate in your spiritual walk, times when you wished your heart broke for the things that break His heart. You see passionate people around you and you just don't feel the same way. Maybe you even sit in your room wishing you could trust God with your WHOLE heart, wishing His joy would pour out of you.You wish you could magically grow into a more passionate believer who recognizes the power of God and trusts in that. If any of those scenarios sound familiar, you are probably a lot like me. I have had many times in my faith where things have felt dry, even though I wanted to be passionately in love with Christ and joyful in every circumstance. 

One thing I absolutely love about God is that He never fails to remind us of truth and remind us of who He is through creation, people, or seemingly insignificant things around us. 

Yesterday, while I was nannying, one of the girls was showing me these things called Orbeez. They are these little bitty balls that you put in water overnight and they absorb a ton of water. She brought some downstairs that she had already made and they were pretty big, a lot bigger than I expected them to be. I began to read the directions, and here are some things it said: "Orbeez will grow to about 100-300 times their original volume. The purer the water the larger they grow." Then it goes on to say, "Try growing Orbeez in different solutions (you can try tap water with salt, filtered or distilled water, milk, soda, juice). Measure how large they grow in these liquids. Hint: The purer the solution the larger they grow."

I thought they were kind of fun and cool and we were playing with them. Then, the Lord opened my eyes to the beautiful example of a passionate faith right in front of me. Sure, it seems silly that a little polymer ball soaked in water would remind me of that, but stay with me for a minute. =)

First of all, the Orbeez balls have to soak in water overnight, which takes time. Soaking is a process, and the transformation needs that process or nothing would happen and they would still be dry and unusable. So many times I wish I could magically be a passionate Christian, but it takes time. Following Christ is more about the journey with Him. We live in a culture that wants things immediately and would rather skip right to the results and bypass the process. I think Christ is less worried about the results and more enthralled by our journey with Him. It is through the journey that we learn to love Him more and learn to dance with Him and enjoy where He takes us and not worry about where our feet are. 

We can't expect to grow if we aren't willing to absorb the water. In the Bible, the Word of God is often compared to living water. To grow in our faith, we have to go to Jesus who is the source of living water. We have to put effort into growing. We have to be willing to dig into the Word and mediate on it and simply spend time with Jesus. How is a relationship going to grow if you never put effort into it? When Orbeez are taken out of a sealed container with a little water in it, they dry out. When you take them out for a little bit, nobody would know, but it is a slow fade. Once out of the life-giving water, they slowly begin to dry out and shrink into a nasty little wrinkled piece of grossness (great mental picture, huh?). What a beautiful example of the importance of soaking up the living water every day. 

Psalm 1:1-3 

"Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither- whatever they do prospers."

I loved how the instructions challenged you to put them in different liquids to experiment how much they grow. It said that the purer the solution, the more they grow. Think about that...the PURER the solution, the MORE they grow. What a cool picture of what it looks like to grow in our faith. the PURER the source, the more you will grow. The Purest source of Spiritual food is the Bible. Those are the words of God himself. Sure, we can grow through friends, church, Christian living books, community groups, podcasts, etc but unless we have the purest source of food, we will not grow nearly as much. There is a lot of great truth in books and church, but where where does that truth come from? The Bible.

John 7:37-38

"On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them."

When I think back to the times in my life when my faith has felt more dry, I realize it was because I was not soaking up the Word. I may have read it during those times, but I was not truly soaking it up. I was not letting the truth penetrate into my life and change my heart. It became merely a habit. I have found that I grow the most when I change up my routine and study different things. Some people grow more when they keep the same routine and read through the Bible as a whole. Some grow the most when they pick a chapter and dig down deep. Some grow by studying a specific story. Some grow the most when they read a verse a day but spend time meditating on it. The Lord has created us all differently. I tend to grow the most when I take one chapter at a time and really spend time studying it and trying to live it out, one verse at a time. I also tend to grow the most when I change up my routine such as going to a coffee shop or going outside or going hiking and mediating on Scripture. Right now I am studying Psalm 119. Let me tell ya, this one is probably going to take a long time Ha! It's just a tad chunky. If there was a chapter that ate too many cookies, it would be this one. Holy cow. I am taking it one bite at a time, or should I say 2 verses at a time? For me, two verses per day has allowed me to spend more time reading and thinking about those two verses throughout the day. Like I said, we are all different and each person is going to grow in a different way. But one thing I know for sure, when I am feeling dry in my faith, I know there's something that needs to change in the way that I am reading Scripture. When I allow the truth to penetrate my life, He is always faithful to give me life through His living water. 
By the way, if you all know of any good studies on Psalm 119 I would love for you to leave a comment with a link! 

His All-Consuming Jealousy:Jealousy Defined

Jealousy Defined

Lately I have been studying the Lord's jealousy and what it looks like. Our whole lives we are told that jealousy is wrong and that it is a sin, so how can the Lord's jealousy be pure and beautiful? What is righteous jealousy and how should we respond to that jealousy? This series will be covered through several blog posts, so feel free to follow the blog so you can read all the parts. This was a study that was honestly pretty difficult. It was hard to put what I found into words and it was hard to truly understand His jealousy. If you have anything to add, please leave a comment. I would love to learn from you all!

Here's how Webster's Dictionary defines jealousy.

1. apprehensive of loss of exclusive devotion
2. intolerance of rivalry or unfaithfulness
3. hostile toward one believed to enjoy an advantage
4. vigilant to guard a possession

Interesting how some of the definitions describe sinful jealousy as well as Godly jealousy. 

The difference between sinful jealousy and Godly jealousy is that sinful jealousy seeks after that which is not ours. It begins through selfishness and is out of pride, rather than love. It seeks what is best for us, rather than the other person. 

SJ Hill describes righteous jealousy as this: "holy jealousy is at the very core of who God is. Within the depths of His being burns an inextinguishable fire of love called jealousy. It’s a blazing passion to protect a love relationship that is eternally precious to Him and to defend it when it’s broken. Divine jealousy is that unbridled energy in God which stirs Him to take aggressive action against whomever or whatever stands in the way of His enjoyment of those He loves and desires. This has always been the real motivation behind His judgments.”

Which word sticks out to you? When I read it, it was the word love. Love is the motivation behind the Lord's jealousy. Without love, there's no way it can be righteous. Think about it. When there's something you want that someone else has, that thought is prideful because you want it for yourself rather than for others. However, God created us and does not need anything we have. He is jealous for us because we are already His and He loves us so deeply and so passionately that He will take "aggressive action" to protect those He loves. He often allows closed doors and hard trials because He loves us. He loves us too much to let us fall away from Him without a fight. He loves us too much to not chase after us. He loves us too much to let us get too distracted with the things of this world. He loves us too much to not be jealous FOR us. 

“Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God” 

(Exodus 34:14).

Next blog we will look more closely at some scripture and study the Lord's jealousy and what it looks like. Stay tuned! =)

Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain

Whimsical Love Day 10:

These 10 days of praying for the grace to have my eyes opened to the way my Father loves me have been absolutely incredible. I have been challenged, encouraged,  convicted, and so much more. On the tenth day of this challenge I was still in Mexico on a mission trip. God loved on me that day through the encouragement of others on the trip. It's taken me awhile to write about the tenth day since life has been a little crazy since I got back from Mexico, but here it is!

Here's a little background before I continue. As many of you know, I am called to be a missionary in Madagascar, a large island off the coast of South Africa. This is one of my greatest passions. I love talking about Madagascar and I am looking forward to going back and getting to live there. It's the place I call home.  It's always kinda funny. I feel like when people hear a little Christian girl who goes to a Christian college talk about how she is called to be a missionary they automatically think she has it all together. Yeah, that's funny. Not a chance. There are a lot of struggles I have and a lot of pride that the Lord is constantly pushing out of the way. I have no idea why He called me to be a missionary overseas but I am excited and am always praying for the grace to be obedient throughout the process. There are times when I am faithless but He remains faithful. I can't grasp that concept, but every time He remains faithful. If there's one thing I have learned these past 2 years it is the depth of the Lord's faithfulness. It's hard to grasp that concept when we live in a world that strives on unfaithfulness. It's everywhere. Magazines, friends, relationships, jobs, everything.

I have been so unfaithful to the Lord so many times. There have been times in my life where I tried to plan out my life and tried to not be "that person" that didn't know what they wanted to do. Every time I tried to do that without praying about it first I have fallen on my face humbled, and each time the Lord's plan is 10X better than mine could have ever been. Sometimes you have to love His sense of humor, even when it's hard to laugh. I used to think I had a great plan for my life, now I know His plan is better.

Isaiah 55:8-9

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

This last year, Satan has put thoughts in my head of the things I will lose when I leave as a missionary. Things like not being surrounded by friends and family, not getting to see possible nieces or nephews in their first years, not getting to go to family and friends' weddings, and not having the things I am used to having here. Funny thing is, every time I have been unfaithful to Him in my thoughts about that, He has loved me enough to remind me that I have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Many of the times Satan puts those thoughts in my head are right before church. Then, we end up singing lyrics that absolutely shatter those lies and fears. Every time I am humbled by His faithfulness to love me during my doubts. Nothing compares to His embrace. Nothing compares to obedience. Nothing compares to walking in His will. Nothing compares to serving Him wholeheartedly. 

During the trip in Mexico, I was so encouraged by the two interns who were there for a month to love on these kids. They gave up a month of their lives to serve and follow in obedience, but the funny thing is, they weren't really giving up their life. They gained life. You could see it in the way they played with those kids. When we give up our lives for Christ, we gain everything. Both of the interns there also want to be a missionaries in Africa. I am always so encouraged when I meet people with the same passions. One of them that I talked to didn't know where he was going or when he would go but was completely relying on the Lord's timing and was excited to see where the Lord would take him. He gave up his future out of pure obedience. I was so encouraged by how the Lord was using the interns there and I knew God used them to help shatter some doubts and fears I had. When the Lord opens our eyes, we can see how the Lord is encouraging us through the people around us. Even when we are unfaithful, He remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). I dare you to take the same 10 day challenge. It will change your perspective, as it did mine. 

Embracing the Lord

Whimsical Love Days 7-9


I got the opportunity to go to a children's home just inside the border of Mexico Tuesday through Saturday this week where we worked on one of their buildings that needed a lot of work then we got to love on the kids when they got home from school. This week was absolutely incredible. I learned so much about how the Lord loves us and how we can love others because of Him. I remember sitting outside in the heat scraping old paint off the building and thinking about how even that was worship. Our God is not bound by worship on Sunday mornings while we sing. We serve a God that can be worshiped on a hot day in Mexico while painting, doing construction work, cutting wood, scraping walls, attempting to use machetes, and cleaning up the aftermath of construction. One of my prayers is that I begin to see even the most mundane things in life as a beautiful form of worship where I can work at it with all my heart since I am working for the Lord rather than for man (Colossians 3:23). Construction work and painting is a pretty whimsical way to love others. It's something often overlooked and not seen as love. The Lord has met so many of our needs, the least we can do is to love others by meeting their needs as we point them back to the love of Christ. 


The children's home (Casa Hogar in Matamoros Mexico) has an awesome ministry. Rather than adopting the kids out, the founder has adopted each one of them (around 250ish kids). His ministry is to pay for their school and teach them life lessons as well as Bible studies so that they may grow up to be missionaries and love on people in Mexico. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me someday but I could see Him allowing me to start some kind of ministry with kids, maybe even something similar to this children's home.  

In the evenings we got to love on the kids and play with them. They laughed and loved in such a beautiful way. Our first day there these kids embraced us like they had always known us. They loved us but barely knew us, and could not even speak to us, although we tried to somewhat speak Spanish. Let's just say that was a little rough haha. You gotta love those language mistakes.... I asked a kid one day while we were playing football how to say strong. I guess I misunderstood him because I found out on the drive back that over and over again I was telling these kids "very door" rather than "very strong." But hey, at least they got a good laugh in before they all went to bed. I can only imagine them saying... "hey why was that girl saying very door all the time? Crazy American." Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself!!  We played tag, football, soccer, made bracelets, painted nails, blew bubbles, and simply loved them. All the while they were loving on us. Funny how that works, huh? You try to love on someone and they end up ministering to you in a unique way. That's how the Lord works. He often ministers to us in whimsical ways as we try to minister. He loves on us even when we don't expect it. The night we were painting nails a little girl wanted to paint mine. I was excited to see what kind of color concoction was about to happen and lo and behold polka dots and glitter of ever color ended up on those puppies. That nail polish is still on. It is a beautiful reminder of the Lord's creative love that night. 

I remember thinking, "This is life." Why? because life isn't about going to school, coming back, going to work, coming back, eating, sleeping, then doing it all again the next day. Life is loving on people wherever you are and taking the time to minister to people. It may mean taking a few years off and traveling to minister to people. It may mean slowing your schedule down enough so there is a beautiful rhythm of rest and work, just as the Lord has intended it to be. Part of the reason I love being a nanny 40 hours a week is the rhythm that goes with that. I get the opportunity to play with those precious little girls and love on them. I get paid to love on people. Yes, it's possible. =) Sure, there are probably jobs that could pay even better but I can't think of a single reason to pursue anything else right now. I am doing exactly what I am called to do right now as a nanny. Kids are one of my passions and I love getting to play with them, even when it means trying to squeeze into dress up clothes and letting them put hideous makeup on me. Wherever you are, take time to minister to the people around you and love on them wherever they are in life. That may mean going on a mission trip, but most importantly it means loving on the people around you rather then becoming busy and pushing those people away. It means taking taking your time to simply love. Because of the nails in His hands and the innocent blood that He shed, we are able to know what love truly is.

But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

Sun Followers

Whimsical Love Day 6:

As I continued my journey to opening my eyes to the ways the Lord loves us, I got in a van early Tuesday morning this week and headed to Mexico for a short mission trip. As we were driving the highways through Texas, everywhere I looked I saw sunflowers. It made me smile and think for awhile. Sunflowers are an interesting flower because as the sun rises and sets, they follow it through the sky. Their name in french is Tournesols, which means sun followers. It made me think about the importance of seeking the Lord wholeheartedly throughout the trip and not relying on my own strength or desires. Why is it so easy sometimes when we are on a mission trip to all of the sudden become a Martha instead of a Mary, going from place to place without sitting at the Lord's feet. We can get so caught up in doing in ministry that we forget our first love. Our actions must come from the love we encounter as we sit at our precious King's feet, ready to serve Him with the right motives. Tuesday was a great time for the Lord to minister to me and love on me, reminding me of my purpose on this mission trip- to seek the Lord with my whole heart and to follow Him so He can shine His love through me so that I may minister to these kids not through my own strength, but through His unwavering strength. If we only open our eyes, we can see the constant reminders of the Lord's love and the rhythm of life He has placed all around us. We must only open our eyes. 

One of my favorite songs is Keep Your Eyes Open by Needtobreathe. I love the lyrics because they remind me of the beauty of keeping our eyes open to what is around us. It's time to dethrone ourselves and give the throne to the righteous one. It's time to open our eyes to all that the Lord has for us and to follow Him even when we don't know where He is taking us next. 

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love

Just past the circumstance
The first light, a second chance
No child could ever dance the way you do, oh
Tear down the prison walls
Don’t start the curtain call
Your chains will never fall until you do

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you
Keep your eyes open, my love

Open up
Open up
Open up your eyes
The weight is unbroken
Open up
Open up
Open up your eyes
Keep your eyes open

A Full Heart

Whimsical Love Day 5

You know the Lord loves us when He makes your heart bigger through a friend's new heart. 

One of my best friend's family recently adopted a precious little girl named Brooke from China. She was abandoned by her parents, probably because they knew they could not afford to pay for her heart problems. But boy did her Father have some incredible plans for her! Her family adopted her knowing the Lord was going to use this little girl in some awesome ways. She was born with 2 chambers in her heart instead of 4. This is a pretty rare condition and is extremely hard to operate on. They basically had to take an artery and make it dump the blood directly into her lungs so her heart would not have to pump it to the lungs. The love her family has showed to her has encouraged me so much and has made me love the Lord even more by seeing this process. She recovered from the hard and long surgery very well and is doing great! I got to meet her for the first time this weekend and I have never seen a little kid so full of life and personality! 

One of my favorite parts is that her loving family always tells her she is brave and that she has a beautiful new and brave heart! What a beautiful scar to remind her of how much the Lord loves her and the new heart He has given her. 


This weekend when I got to meet her, my friend had to leave early so I stayed to play with this one and her sister. Brooke began coloring on my arm as she was playing doctor. She pretended to give me a shot with her crayon and then said, "there, now you have a bigger heart". HEART MELTS* I loved how she incorporated that in her imagination and play time. She knows she is blessed and knows she has a beautiful new heart. As she was playing, she put some foam stickers on my shoulder (her baby stickers were at school on my shoulder) and throughout the day stickers came out of the middle of nowhere haha! I loved it though, such a funny reminder of what I had seen that day! She without a doubt has one of the most joyful and loving hearts I have ever seen. 

"A cheerful heart is good medicine." Proverbs 17:22

I began thinking about why we use the symbol of a heart to represent love. Proverbs 4:23 says that the heart is the wellspring of life. Think about that for a second. The heart is what brings life. Without a heart beating, there is no life. Can you imagine a life that does not love? To me, love is life. Because of Jesus' love we are given life. Can we then in return have a life that is void of love? If life is void of love, can it truly be life? Those who love others are the ones that truly experience life. This little girl is a beautiful example of the way Jesus loves us. 

"I'm not that great at spelling and thankfully my phone auto corrects the words I type for me. What I've noticed, though, is that almost every time I type in the word love, it gets changed to the word live...I learned that fully loving and fully living are not only synonymous but the kind of life that Jesus invited us to be part of. And because of that, our lives don't need to be puffs of blue smoke anymore" (Goff, 16). Love Does

Abandoned but Loved

Whimsical Love Day 4

I think it's so cool how the Lord loves us all in different whimsical ways. One of my love languages is animals, and my King knows exactly how to love me through that. Ever since I can remember, I have basically lived in a zoo, and have even volunteered at one. There was one time in my life when I had 13 animals. Yes, you read that right. 13. There were dogs, cats, a guinea pig, hedgehog, a frog and snail, and who knows what else. I have loved every minute of my zoo life. Today I have 3 dogs, a cat, and 3 sugar gliders. There's just something about animals that speak love to me. 

Today I want to highlight one of my all time favorite animals I have ever had. I would say I am normally more of a dog person, but when it comes to this guy, he has my heart. Meet the one and only D.W. (Yes, he is a male, and yes, he is named after Arthur's SISTER. God bless his heart. You never know what you are going to get when you are a kitten in the hands of a 3rd grader). I remember going to a friend's house a few doors down when I was little and saw them playing with a loving and sweet kitten. They didn't have a kitten when I was there 30 minutes earlier.




WHERE DID THAT CUTE CHUNK OF AWESOMENESS COME FROM? They told me that someone had driven behind there house on a dirt road in a truck and threw him out the window. You would never have known just by seeing him. He was loving on us and playing with us as if he was deeply loved. He was abandoned, yet he loved. That is unconditional love. Let's just say it went a little like this.... they could not keep him so I thought that I may be able to ask around and find him a home. So, I carried him home, rang the doorbell, and when my mom answered, talked a mile a minute about how he was abandoned and needed a place to stay for the night so I could find him a home. SUCKER!!! That's irresistible. If my kid ever does that, pretty sure my heart will melt and it will be a yes every time, it's a weakness. Obviously my whole family fell in love with this little kitty that night and the rest is history. You see, he's not your average cat. This kid follows me around EVERYWHERE and is the most snugly and social little thing. He's also too smart...we have to lock all the doors because he can open them. You have got to be kidding me. He is one of the most loving animals I have ever had.

I love Job 39 because it talks about the Lord's wisdom in creating animals. You know he had to have enjoyed creating all those creatures and not only creating them, but using them in our lives to love us in a whimsical way.

I have never understood when people are not animal people. There are so many ways we can learn about God through these animals. I can see God's faithfulness through the faithful, his unconditional love through those who know no hatred, His comfort through the way they love on you and comfort you when they can tell you are down, His humility, playfulness, and beauty. There's a way that animals can minister to people that humans can not. There's a reason they are used in counseling. They just have a gift of knowing how to minister to people. I truly believe the Lord uses animals in incredible ways to minister to them. We can't control what they are thinking, we can't make them understand the baby words we use, but God can use them to minister to us without words. One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books, Love Does says,

 "But the kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence. It's a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright." 

God's love is often acted out through the things around us. He uses animals in my life to act out that love. Animals can't talk and tell us they love us, they simply act it out every day. This kind of love challenges me to act out my love for the people around me. It's too easy to simply say " I love you" but if you truly love people, it will be like a sign language. If that's not whimsical, I don't know what is.