Satan has kept me from blogging for awhile, telling me I had to have some kind of profound and life-changing study to share in order to post something. After a few days of studying for finals and not getting a ton of sleep, I moved back home and decided to take a nap. I could not fall asleep. My mind was racing. I was thinking about how far the Lord has brought me these last two years in college, the friends I made, the adventures I went on, and the people who have changed my life. I thought about some of my friends who have decided to follow the Lord even though there would be a huge change. I thought about how the Lord has worked in my life and challenged me to embrace change. I don't know why, but my loving Father and Savior made it clear to me I was supposed to blog today.
My old high school's graduation is today and it made me think about my days in high school. I remembered learning Spanish and honestly hating it. I never wanted to learn a different language. The thought of becoming fluent in another language seemed exciting but way too daunting. It takes time. It takes a willingness to make a change. It takes a leap of faith since you never know if God may call you to another country where you never saw yourself going. The Lord shattered that pride and started to give me a strong desire to learn French, especially since Madagascar's second language is French. I have never enjoyed learning a language until now. Why? Because God changed my motives. Languages are one of the best ways to show someone from a different country you care enough about them to spend time learning how to love on them through communication. How are we going to change the World and impact people if we can't even talk to people in different countries? How will we be able to work along side other Christians when we can't speak to them? Think about how many more opportunities there are to love on people and share the gospel when you can have a conversation with them. How is change going to happen if we aren't willing to make a change ourselves?
This year the Lord blessed me with an incredible job. During the school year, I get to work in DBU's international office, where I get to tutor students who took a leap of faith and came to DBU to learn English. I got to tutor and minister to students from all over the world, including Africa, Chile, Italy, Korea, China, Brazil, and many other places. I have been so encouraged by their willingness to make a change and go where the Lord led them. They were willing to follow the Lord and travel to a strange country where they could not even have a conversation with someone for awhile. Those students have no idea what kind of impact they made on me this year. One of my favorite memories of the year is when we took a group of international students to the Canton flea market and on the way we all sang the song "If You're Happy and You Know it." Here's the cool part....we sang it in 6 different languages at once and I got to sing it in French. I have never appreciated different languages and cultures until this year. Funny thing is, I used to be a home body. Now, I desire to travel so I can see other parts of the Lord's beautiful creation and see His creativity in other cultures.
As I am sitting in my backyard, I looked over only to see a bright green lizard change from green to brown. He wasn't afraid of change or where he was going next. He simply embraced it. If lizards did not change colors, there would be a lot of fear since they would have more predators seeking them. Selah on that for a second. When we don't embrace change, we live with so much more fear... fear that cripples us. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the known. If we are unwilling to embrace change, think about how Satan has a foothold. I believe one of the greatest ways Satan holds us back from loving on people is through our fear of change. Not only does this change include embracing the nations with Him, but embracing the people around you. Don't be afraid of change. Close your eyes, grasp your Savior's sovereign and loving hands, and dance with Him as He takes you on a beautiful and life-changing adventure. I promise you won't regret a thing.
I got back from Madagascar about a month ago and throughout the two weeks we spent there, the beggars flocked to us. Many of them see a white person and immediately see them as money. They see the white men as people who have what they want and therefore see Americans as gift-givers. While it is heartbreaking to see these people in desperate need, giving them money is not always the most beneficial response. They know we have money and we know we have the money. The problem is, there are so many long-term effects at hand. As a missionary, we want to be generous and seek out the needs of the people and teach them. It creates problems when we go about it the wrong way as the people can easily see us only as gift-givers and not as a friend. For awhile I was greatly annoyed at the amount of beggars since some saw me as a gift-giver and never had a desire to get to know me and hear what I had to say. I knew that just handing money over to them may bring them short term happiness, but would create long term obstacles. I'm sure by saying no to the beggars they saw me as a greedy American who had what they needed and was unwilling to give it to them, but I knew that as someone who loved them and could see past the present need, I had to do what I knew was best for them. I love the precious people of Madagascar, so I want to serve them and teach them how to find pure Joy in the Lord as well as teach them how to better their lifestyle and live according to their means.
AND THEN IT HIT ME....like a mud hole followed by boulders on the road in the bush....I am often like a beggar to the Lord.
So many times it is easy to see the Lord as a gift-giver who has the ability to give me anything I want, like a little genie. Sure, He has the ability to give me anything, but out of love, He limits Himself. Think about how many times your prayers consist of asking the Lord for things, and how many times your prayers consist of sitting at His feet and praising Him and wanting to learn from the King of Kings. I can't even begin to count how many times I or someone else has said something along the lines of God is not answering my prayers because he said no. Even a no is an answer to prayer. Sure, God could say yes to everything we ask for, and we may be happy, but our heart will not be after His. The Lord is not after us being happy, but transforming a heart into one of pure joy who is after the Lord's great heart. There are times when the Lord gives us what we want, but many times He shows His love through wanting to teach us and transform our heart.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
Do you find your identity in the yeses you get from the Lord, or from the heart transformation He offers? As the daughters' hearts transform to the King's, we find ourselves looking to God as a gift-giver less, and sitting at His feet more, learning about His heart as we desire Him rather than His gifts. Think about friendships where you sought them only because of what they could give you and do for you and then think about the friendships where you wanted to get to know the person and serve them. Think about the difference in those relationships. The first may seem gratifying for a short amount of time, but the second one brings a much deeper and stronger relationship since your motives are not selfish, but those of humility and service. Think about the difference in our relationship with God when we seek after the gifts less, and His beautiful glory and presence in our life more.
Oh the beauty of sitting at the beloved King's feet as His precious and chosen daughters, seeking His heart and His desires.
This year the Lord blessed me with an incredible job. During the school year, I get to work in DBU's international office, where I get to tutor students who took a leap of faith and came to DBU to learn English. I got to tutor and minister to students from all over the world, including Africa, Chile, Italy, Korea, China, Brazil, and many other places. I have been so encouraged by their willingness to make a change and go where the Lord led them. They were willing to follow the Lord and travel to a strange country where they could not even have a conversation with someone for awhile. Those students have no idea what kind of impact they made on me this year. One of my favorite memories of the year is when we took a group of international students to the Canton flea market and on the way we all sang the song "If You're Happy and You Know it." Here's the cool part....we sang it in 6 different languages at once and I got to sing it in French. I have never appreciated different languages and cultures until this year. Funny thing is, I used to be a home body. Now, I desire to travel so I can see other parts of the Lord's beautiful creation and see His creativity in other cultures.
