Satisfying Singleness

Take a second to imagine a kindergartener who is sitting on a swing at recess thinking about how much he cannot wait to be in high school. He hates kindergarten and cannot wait to drive, take different classes, and be able to go out to movies with friends. He longs for graduation day so much that during recess time every day, that’s all he can think about. It consumes his thoughts. If you knew that, what would you say to that precious child? Would you say “yeah, kindergarten is awful; I can’t wait for you to be in high school too, since that is when life begins”? Or….would you say something along the lines of “sweet child, the times in kindergarten are precious and worth treasuring. High school will come eventually, but treasure the time you have now; you will never get a year like this again where you can run and play without worry and have the joys you have now. Sure, high school is great and there are plenty of blessings that come with that, but don’t miss out on the blessings you have right now”?

So many girls (myself included) wish away their time of singleness. We live in a culture that tells us if we are not in a relationship, there is something wrong with us and that love is our ultimate goal and we will not be fulfilled and happy until we reach that point. Ladies, can I just tell you that is a complete lie from Satan. The Lord created love and relationships; they are beautiful things, but the Lord did not create love and relationships to be things that fulfill us. There is absolutely nothing that will nurture, love, and satisfy like Christ.

 

Last year, the Lord brought to my attention an idol in my life that I had never even noticed. I found myself looking forward to a relationship, marriage, and kids constantly. Since I had never been a “boy crazy” girl, I always told myself that was not an idol of mine. The Lord is humorous and loves to humble us, so He brought that to my attention. He led me to Kelly Needham’s blog where she mentioned how when we say we are “just waiting on the Lord” it often reveals an idol, as we see God not for who He is, but for His gifts. If Christ is not your first love, you will never have the right perspective in a relationship and it will become an idol. That is when I first began to see singleness not as a curse, but as an absolute blessing. I had always thought about the image of running toward God and He would put someone right beside me to run alongside me. Then the Lord changed that picture.
 “Daughter, chase after me. If I chose to put someone in your life, he will be directly in front of you to lead and guide you, but you will never have to take your eyes off of me to look to the side. If I chose not to put anyone there, your eyes will still be focused on me, and you will be completely satisfied in me and will not even think twice about finding satisfaction in anything else.”

 

How in the world is singleness a blessing? It is a trial, and therefore a beautiful blessing. Sure, it is hard, but so are relationships. Remember the story of the kindergartener? There are a lot of blessings that we miss out on when we wish away singleness. If you are not content in singleness, how do you think you will be content in a relationship or in marriage? That person will not be able to completely satisfy us. In Philippians 4, Paul talks about the importance of being content. He continues into the famous Philippians 4:13 where he says He can be content through Christ. It is a daily submission. The Lord promises to give us contentment when we ask! If we cannot learn how to be content in the Lord, the only one that can truly satisfy us, there is no way we will be content in a human. Perhaps your singleness is intended to draw you closer to the Lord as you rely on Him. Perhaps your singleness is a time to remember our dependence on God and the absolute beauty of chasing after Him and sitting at His feet, ready to hear His life-giving words.

 

James 4:8- “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

If you are in a time of singleness right now, take time to draw near to your King. Sit at his feet, RUN to His arms, and feel His embrace. There is absolutely nothing that compares to the way He loves and pursues us. When you do enter a relationship, you will have already learned the importance and beauty of total dependence and surrender to the one who created you. It will be so much easier to fall into the arms of your Father, even when another person fails you.

 

 One of the most life-giving things we can realize is the way the Lord faithfully pursues His daughters, drawing them in and shows Himself to be a loving and gracious Father.

“I enjoy those parts of the Bible where Jesus talks about how much He loves His bride. It makes me wonder if the trees and mountains and rivers are things He planned in advance, knowing they would wow us…I wonder if He thought each foggy morning, each soft rain, each field of wild flowers would be a quiet and audacious way to demonstrate His tremendous love for us” (Bob Goff).

 

Likewise, many girls (including myself) often say they wished someone would pursue them. They wished for flowers or chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Take a second and guess how many different kinds of flowers the Lord has made. Go ahead, guess! When I took a guess it was around 300 or so. Our Father has made OVER 230,000 different kinds of flowers. Let that soak in for a second. Feel loved yet? He knew His daughters enjoyed the beautiful colors and smells of flowers. He planted them all around us to remind us of the whimsical ways He loves and pursues us. If you are in a time of singleness right now, instead of asking what is wrong with yourself, or feeling unloved, know that singleness is a beautiful gift from our Father as it gives us time to recognize the true satisfaction found only in Christ as well as time to seek Him wholeheartedly.