How I See the Gospel through my Tonsillectomy

When you first read this, your initial reaction was probably something like, "Ok, this seems like a little bit of a stretch." The truth is, the gospel is so powerful that it stretches over every day of our lives, not just the day we become a Christian.

Taking my pain meds before writing this may or may not have been a good decision....

First of all, what exactly is the gospel? The gospel says that we are so sinful and so messed up beyond belief that someone had to DIE for us in order to make things right. But, we are so incredibly loved that someone ACTUALLY died for us!! It's the shattering truth that shows us not only how much we need someone to save us everyday, but that we have a God that loves us so much that He is willing to work on our hearts everyday and reminds us of the all-consuming grace He shows us every day of our lives.

The sad part is, we live in a culture that gets tired of hearing the gospel, because we believe the gospel is important for salvation and nothing beyond that. We get tired of hearing the gospel because we don't think we need it anymore. That was me until about a few years ago. Once I started going to Stonegate Church, the Lord gently opened my eyes to the many ways I misunderstood the beauty of the gospel. Then, by showing me the life-altering grace He shows me every day of my life and just how much I didn't deserve his love and grace, He wrecked my heart and showed me how the gospel is for every day of our lives. 

When the Lord put the idea of knowing Him more on my heart for my new year's resolution, I had no idea how hard but life-giving it would be. What started off as a few annoying tonsil stones early on turned into sickness after sickness, and ultimately a tonsillectomy this Thursday. The surgery is easy, the recovery is hard. 

Promises of the gospel:

• God is GREAT, so I don't have to be in control.
• God is GOOD, so I don't need to look for satisfaction elsewhere.
• God is GRACIOUS, so I don't have to prove myself.
• God is GLORIOUS, so I don't have to fear man.

God is great. Because I serve a God that is great and undoubtedly sovereign, as a Christian I get the opportunity to go into surgery without worry. Did I have worries and fears at times? Yes, but the Lord sweetly reminded me that because He is so much bigger, that I could trust Him. 

God is good. Boy, is this true. He is so sweetly satisfying. It is so easy for me to find my satisfaction in people and in friends and I love when the Lord takes me away from those things and refocuses my heart, even though it is painful at times. I have no choice but to find my satisfaction in my Jesus. I am in a lot of pain, at home, away from all my friends, and I can't even talk (I'm counting on the next time I play charades, because domination station is to come ha!). I can't even say a word. It hurts to swallow. It hurts to stay hydrated after painfully swallowing, only to throw it up. I am weak. Eating is hard. I'm so stopped up that most of the time is is hard to breathe. This may sound like a pitty party, but it is so much more. As hard as this has been, I am learning so much. I struggle with self-dependence and it is so humbling and so good to be at a place where I literally have to depend on my sweet Jesus just to breathe and swallow. I never thought twice about needing Jesus to help me do the most simple things like that. I am so thankful when He reminds me that I am just as dependent on Him today, as the day when I saw for the first time that I needed Him when I was 6. 

"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God." 

2 Corin. 3:5

God is gracious. I spent most of my life trying to bring something to the table. Now, I realize he wants nothing in our hands when we come to Him, just hands that are stretched out to Him in utter dependence. Obviously, I have nothing to bring to the table right now. Especially since I can't even go to church on Easter. But here's the great thing, I get to worship my sweet Jesus even from my bed as I'm too sick to read and too sick to sing. My hands are open, and that's exactly how it should be. 

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 

2 Corin 4:16-18

God is glorious.The more I recognize how powerful my God, is, the more I trust Him and even love the things He is doing in my life, even when it's not fun. Here's what I love about being a Christian. Tonsillectomy recovery isn't something that I just have to get past then it will all be better. I get the chance to see how much the Lord is working in my life through this. I am thankful for the pain and the idols it easily uncovers. Does that mean I'm constantly happy and frolicking in my house? NO..... haha but I am so thankful for all that He is doing. There's meaning to this pain and there's a deeper love that I could ever have imagined. I no longer just pray for things to be easy and for an easy and fast recovery. I get to pray that my Jesus will continue to work in my heart, since that is the real depth behind all of this. 

Rocking the new style. I will most likely regret putting this bad boy up...

Just the fact I was just able to write this while tired and taking intense pain meds shows He is indeed graceful. It isn't easy or fun, but I love being reminded of this truth through Jesus and through friends during this time.