Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain

Whimsical Love Day 10:

These 10 days of praying for the grace to have my eyes opened to the way my Father loves me have been absolutely incredible. I have been challenged, encouraged,  convicted, and so much more. On the tenth day of this challenge I was still in Mexico on a mission trip. God loved on me that day through the encouragement of others on the trip. It's taken me awhile to write about the tenth day since life has been a little crazy since I got back from Mexico, but here it is!

Here's a little background before I continue. As many of you know, I am called to be a missionary in Madagascar, a large island off the coast of South Africa. This is one of my greatest passions. I love talking about Madagascar and I am looking forward to going back and getting to live there. It's the place I call home.  It's always kinda funny. I feel like when people hear a little Christian girl who goes to a Christian college talk about how she is called to be a missionary they automatically think she has it all together. Yeah, that's funny. Not a chance. There are a lot of struggles I have and a lot of pride that the Lord is constantly pushing out of the way. I have no idea why He called me to be a missionary overseas but I am excited and am always praying for the grace to be obedient throughout the process. There are times when I am faithless but He remains faithful. I can't grasp that concept, but every time He remains faithful. If there's one thing I have learned these past 2 years it is the depth of the Lord's faithfulness. It's hard to grasp that concept when we live in a world that strives on unfaithfulness. It's everywhere. Magazines, friends, relationships, jobs, everything.

I have been so unfaithful to the Lord so many times. There have been times in my life where I tried to plan out my life and tried to not be "that person" that didn't know what they wanted to do. Every time I tried to do that without praying about it first I have fallen on my face humbled, and each time the Lord's plan is 10X better than mine could have ever been. Sometimes you have to love His sense of humor, even when it's hard to laugh. I used to think I had a great plan for my life, now I know His plan is better.

Isaiah 55:8-9

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

This last year, Satan has put thoughts in my head of the things I will lose when I leave as a missionary. Things like not being surrounded by friends and family, not getting to see possible nieces or nephews in their first years, not getting to go to family and friends' weddings, and not having the things I am used to having here. Funny thing is, every time I have been unfaithful to Him in my thoughts about that, He has loved me enough to remind me that I have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Many of the times Satan puts those thoughts in my head are right before church. Then, we end up singing lyrics that absolutely shatter those lies and fears. Every time I am humbled by His faithfulness to love me during my doubts. Nothing compares to His embrace. Nothing compares to obedience. Nothing compares to walking in His will. Nothing compares to serving Him wholeheartedly. 

During the trip in Mexico, I was so encouraged by the two interns who were there for a month to love on these kids. They gave up a month of their lives to serve and follow in obedience, but the funny thing is, they weren't really giving up their life. They gained life. You could see it in the way they played with those kids. When we give up our lives for Christ, we gain everything. Both of the interns there also want to be a missionaries in Africa. I am always so encouraged when I meet people with the same passions. One of them that I talked to didn't know where he was going or when he would go but was completely relying on the Lord's timing and was excited to see where the Lord would take him. He gave up his future out of pure obedience. I was so encouraged by how the Lord was using the interns there and I knew God used them to help shatter some doubts and fears I had. When the Lord opens our eyes, we can see how the Lord is encouraging us through the people around us. Even when we are unfaithful, He remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). I dare you to take the same 10 day challenge. It will change your perspective, as it did mine. 

Embracing the Lord

Whimsical Love Days 7-9


I got the opportunity to go to a children's home just inside the border of Mexico Tuesday through Saturday this week where we worked on one of their buildings that needed a lot of work then we got to love on the kids when they got home from school. This week was absolutely incredible. I learned so much about how the Lord loves us and how we can love others because of Him. I remember sitting outside in the heat scraping old paint off the building and thinking about how even that was worship. Our God is not bound by worship on Sunday mornings while we sing. We serve a God that can be worshiped on a hot day in Mexico while painting, doing construction work, cutting wood, scraping walls, attempting to use machetes, and cleaning up the aftermath of construction. One of my prayers is that I begin to see even the most mundane things in life as a beautiful form of worship where I can work at it with all my heart since I am working for the Lord rather than for man (Colossians 3:23). Construction work and painting is a pretty whimsical way to love others. It's something often overlooked and not seen as love. The Lord has met so many of our needs, the least we can do is to love others by meeting their needs as we point them back to the love of Christ. 


The children's home (Casa Hogar in Matamoros Mexico) has an awesome ministry. Rather than adopting the kids out, the founder has adopted each one of them (around 250ish kids). His ministry is to pay for their school and teach them life lessons as well as Bible studies so that they may grow up to be missionaries and love on people in Mexico. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me someday but I could see Him allowing me to start some kind of ministry with kids, maybe even something similar to this children's home.  

In the evenings we got to love on the kids and play with them. They laughed and loved in such a beautiful way. Our first day there these kids embraced us like they had always known us. They loved us but barely knew us, and could not even speak to us, although we tried to somewhat speak Spanish. Let's just say that was a little rough haha. You gotta love those language mistakes.... I asked a kid one day while we were playing football how to say strong. I guess I misunderstood him because I found out on the drive back that over and over again I was telling these kids "very door" rather than "very strong." But hey, at least they got a good laugh in before they all went to bed. I can only imagine them saying... "hey why was that girl saying very door all the time? Crazy American." Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself!!  We played tag, football, soccer, made bracelets, painted nails, blew bubbles, and simply loved them. All the while they were loving on us. Funny how that works, huh? You try to love on someone and they end up ministering to you in a unique way. That's how the Lord works. He often ministers to us in whimsical ways as we try to minister. He loves on us even when we don't expect it. The night we were painting nails a little girl wanted to paint mine. I was excited to see what kind of color concoction was about to happen and lo and behold polka dots and glitter of ever color ended up on those puppies. That nail polish is still on. It is a beautiful reminder of the Lord's creative love that night. 

I remember thinking, "This is life." Why? because life isn't about going to school, coming back, going to work, coming back, eating, sleeping, then doing it all again the next day. Life is loving on people wherever you are and taking the time to minister to people. It may mean taking a few years off and traveling to minister to people. It may mean slowing your schedule down enough so there is a beautiful rhythm of rest and work, just as the Lord has intended it to be. Part of the reason I love being a nanny 40 hours a week is the rhythm that goes with that. I get the opportunity to play with those precious little girls and love on them. I get paid to love on people. Yes, it's possible. =) Sure, there are probably jobs that could pay even better but I can't think of a single reason to pursue anything else right now. I am doing exactly what I am called to do right now as a nanny. Kids are one of my passions and I love getting to play with them, even when it means trying to squeeze into dress up clothes and letting them put hideous makeup on me. Wherever you are, take time to minister to the people around you and love on them wherever they are in life. That may mean going on a mission trip, but most importantly it means loving on the people around you rather then becoming busy and pushing those people away. It means taking taking your time to simply love. Because of the nails in His hands and the innocent blood that He shed, we are able to know what love truly is.

But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

Sun Followers

Whimsical Love Day 6:

As I continued my journey to opening my eyes to the ways the Lord loves us, I got in a van early Tuesday morning this week and headed to Mexico for a short mission trip. As we were driving the highways through Texas, everywhere I looked I saw sunflowers. It made me smile and think for awhile. Sunflowers are an interesting flower because as the sun rises and sets, they follow it through the sky. Their name in french is Tournesols, which means sun followers. It made me think about the importance of seeking the Lord wholeheartedly throughout the trip and not relying on my own strength or desires. Why is it so easy sometimes when we are on a mission trip to all of the sudden become a Martha instead of a Mary, going from place to place without sitting at the Lord's feet. We can get so caught up in doing in ministry that we forget our first love. Our actions must come from the love we encounter as we sit at our precious King's feet, ready to serve Him with the right motives. Tuesday was a great time for the Lord to minister to me and love on me, reminding me of my purpose on this mission trip- to seek the Lord with my whole heart and to follow Him so He can shine His love through me so that I may minister to these kids not through my own strength, but through His unwavering strength. If we only open our eyes, we can see the constant reminders of the Lord's love and the rhythm of life He has placed all around us. We must only open our eyes. 

One of my favorite songs is Keep Your Eyes Open by Needtobreathe. I love the lyrics because they remind me of the beauty of keeping our eyes open to what is around us. It's time to dethrone ourselves and give the throne to the righteous one. It's time to open our eyes to all that the Lord has for us and to follow Him even when we don't know where He is taking us next. 

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love

Just past the circumstance
The first light, a second chance
No child could ever dance the way you do, oh
Tear down the prison walls
Don’t start the curtain call
Your chains will never fall until you do

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you
Keep your eyes open, my love

Open up
Open up
Open up your eyes
The weight is unbroken
Open up
Open up
Open up your eyes
Keep your eyes open

A Full Heart

Whimsical Love Day 5

You know the Lord loves us when He makes your heart bigger through a friend's new heart. 

One of my best friend's family recently adopted a precious little girl named Brooke from China. She was abandoned by her parents, probably because they knew they could not afford to pay for her heart problems. But boy did her Father have some incredible plans for her! Her family adopted her knowing the Lord was going to use this little girl in some awesome ways. She was born with 2 chambers in her heart instead of 4. This is a pretty rare condition and is extremely hard to operate on. They basically had to take an artery and make it dump the blood directly into her lungs so her heart would not have to pump it to the lungs. The love her family has showed to her has encouraged me so much and has made me love the Lord even more by seeing this process. She recovered from the hard and long surgery very well and is doing great! I got to meet her for the first time this weekend and I have never seen a little kid so full of life and personality! 

One of my favorite parts is that her loving family always tells her she is brave and that she has a beautiful new and brave heart! What a beautiful scar to remind her of how much the Lord loves her and the new heart He has given her. 


This weekend when I got to meet her, my friend had to leave early so I stayed to play with this one and her sister. Brooke began coloring on my arm as she was playing doctor. She pretended to give me a shot with her crayon and then said, "there, now you have a bigger heart". HEART MELTS* I loved how she incorporated that in her imagination and play time. She knows she is blessed and knows she has a beautiful new heart. As she was playing, she put some foam stickers on my shoulder (her baby stickers were at school on my shoulder) and throughout the day stickers came out of the middle of nowhere haha! I loved it though, such a funny reminder of what I had seen that day! She without a doubt has one of the most joyful and loving hearts I have ever seen. 

"A cheerful heart is good medicine." Proverbs 17:22

I began thinking about why we use the symbol of a heart to represent love. Proverbs 4:23 says that the heart is the wellspring of life. Think about that for a second. The heart is what brings life. Without a heart beating, there is no life. Can you imagine a life that does not love? To me, love is life. Because of Jesus' love we are given life. Can we then in return have a life that is void of love? If life is void of love, can it truly be life? Those who love others are the ones that truly experience life. This little girl is a beautiful example of the way Jesus loves us. 

"I'm not that great at spelling and thankfully my phone auto corrects the words I type for me. What I've noticed, though, is that almost every time I type in the word love, it gets changed to the word live...I learned that fully loving and fully living are not only synonymous but the kind of life that Jesus invited us to be part of. And because of that, our lives don't need to be puffs of blue smoke anymore" (Goff, 16). Love Does

Abandoned but Loved

Whimsical Love Day 4

I think it's so cool how the Lord loves us all in different whimsical ways. One of my love languages is animals, and my King knows exactly how to love me through that. Ever since I can remember, I have basically lived in a zoo, and have even volunteered at one. There was one time in my life when I had 13 animals. Yes, you read that right. 13. There were dogs, cats, a guinea pig, hedgehog, a frog and snail, and who knows what else. I have loved every minute of my zoo life. Today I have 3 dogs, a cat, and 3 sugar gliders. There's just something about animals that speak love to me. 

Today I want to highlight one of my all time favorite animals I have ever had. I would say I am normally more of a dog person, but when it comes to this guy, he has my heart. Meet the one and only D.W. (Yes, he is a male, and yes, he is named after Arthur's SISTER. God bless his heart. You never know what you are going to get when you are a kitten in the hands of a 3rd grader). I remember going to a friend's house a few doors down when I was little and saw them playing with a loving and sweet kitten. They didn't have a kitten when I was there 30 minutes earlier.




WHERE DID THAT CUTE CHUNK OF AWESOMENESS COME FROM? They told me that someone had driven behind there house on a dirt road in a truck and threw him out the window. You would never have known just by seeing him. He was loving on us and playing with us as if he was deeply loved. He was abandoned, yet he loved. That is unconditional love. Let's just say it went a little like this.... they could not keep him so I thought that I may be able to ask around and find him a home. So, I carried him home, rang the doorbell, and when my mom answered, talked a mile a minute about how he was abandoned and needed a place to stay for the night so I could find him a home. SUCKER!!! That's irresistible. If my kid ever does that, pretty sure my heart will melt and it will be a yes every time, it's a weakness. Obviously my whole family fell in love with this little kitty that night and the rest is history. You see, he's not your average cat. This kid follows me around EVERYWHERE and is the most snugly and social little thing. He's also too smart...we have to lock all the doors because he can open them. You have got to be kidding me. He is one of the most loving animals I have ever had.

I love Job 39 because it talks about the Lord's wisdom in creating animals. You know he had to have enjoyed creating all those creatures and not only creating them, but using them in our lives to love us in a whimsical way.

I have never understood when people are not animal people. There are so many ways we can learn about God through these animals. I can see God's faithfulness through the faithful, his unconditional love through those who know no hatred, His comfort through the way they love on you and comfort you when they can tell you are down, His humility, playfulness, and beauty. There's a way that animals can minister to people that humans can not. There's a reason they are used in counseling. They just have a gift of knowing how to minister to people. I truly believe the Lord uses animals in incredible ways to minister to them. We can't control what they are thinking, we can't make them understand the baby words we use, but God can use them to minister to us without words. One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books, Love Does says,

 "But the kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence. It's a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright." 

God's love is often acted out through the things around us. He uses animals in my life to act out that love. Animals can't talk and tell us they love us, they simply act it out every day. This kind of love challenges me to act out my love for the people around me. It's too easy to simply say " I love you" but if you truly love people, it will be like a sign language. If that's not whimsical, I don't know what is. 

Just Imagine

Due to not having access to my computer the last few days, here are the last couple of blog posts.

Whimsical Love Day 3

There's just something about a child's imagination that captivates you. I have been blessed to nanny two sweet girls for the third summer in a row. One of my favorite things is when I come in the house of a morning and can hear imagination flowing from the other side of the house. It's impossible not to smile and love every second of it. At all times she is either playing Barbies, dolls, ponies, dress-up, or house. It always brings me back to my childhood. That was my life. But instead of ponies, I would somehow make my three older brothers sit down for a tea party. I'm still not sure how that one happened, but I do have a picture of it somewhere to prove it!

Sometimes I would even dress up my cats and bring them to the tea party (So that's why Ernest ended up becoming a 22 lb recluse........). 

Every time I played house my name would be Laura, and I would not answer when my mom called for Shae. I simply whispered in her ear that my name was not Shae, it was Laura. After awhile she would see I was playing house and would automatically call me Laura. I was a different person and in a different place when my imagination was flowing. You see, something happens when your imagination is going. You enter a place of nonstop adventures and happiness. Whether you are being chased by a dinosaur, playing the role of a mom with ten babies (holy cow), running away from the bad guys (everyone in sight) and pretending to be a spy, or whatever it is, adventure is everywhere. I'm sure I was probably one of those kids who had more fun with the boxes. After all, you could build massive castles with them!

Claire, the little girl I nanny was playing house that day and asked me to play house with her. Why not? So she gave a doll to me and she picked up a doll for herself. She continued to play and picked up a Precious Moments Bible. She took it to the other side of the room and said, "Ok, I am going to study Jesus." I couldn't stop reflecting on how beautiful that phrase was. Sometimes it's a child that can put things in a more beautiful and innocent way. Not that this is bad, but we often call it a Bible study or a group study or something but there was something about studying Jesus. Her childlike faith and innocence challenged me. How beautiful would it be if we simply studied Jesus? And not only studied Him, but obeyed Him?

As I was playing house, I began thinking, why did God create imagination? What is its purpose?

In Genesis 1, God created animals, humans, plants, the atmosphere, and more. I don't know about you but that takes A LOT of imagination. I can just imagine the Creator getting ideas for animals and having a childlike excitement as He chooses where each one will live, what they will look like, what kind of fur they will have, and what kind of body they would have. Then, I imagine Him getting excited as He gets to decide what the very first humans would look like. I imagine a glow in His eyes as He decides what kind of hair they will have, what their body shape would be, what their eye colors would be, what their skin tone would be, and what their personality would be. You know He had to have so much fun with this. After all, God is the king of imagination!!! 

We are made in God's image and imagination is without a doubt a character trait of the Creator. When you think about it, everything begins with imagination. Whether that's a game kids make up, any kind of appliance, the design of your house, and the list goes on and on. Although the Lord blessed children with an extra dose of imagination, everyone has some (some more that others!). As an artist, I can relate to this in a cool way. I love having an idea for a new project, whether that's a mosaic, painting, pottery piece, or a sculpture and getting to see that idea become a masterpiece and being able to call it good.

When imagination and excitement collide, barriers are knocked down and it is easier to pursue the Lord's plans. When I get excited about the Lord's imagination for my life and the plans He has for me, it's almost impossible to hold back from following Him 100%. After all, who has a better imagination for my life? 

Did you know imagination can even be a form of worship? If the Lord has made imagination and has even used it, why can't it be another form of worship? Someone mentioned that to me one time and I remember thinking about it. Once I thought about it, worship in church became alive. I was able to think about the lyrics in a new and beautiful way. One of my favorite songs says "I'm running to your arms, I'm running to your arms, the riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace." I love this song because it enables me to use my imagination. I picture myself running to my king as fast as I can with outstretched arms, then embracing arms that are way bigger than I am. The picture He puts in my head while singing that song is one that sticks with me. When you think about it, faith requires imagination. 2 Corinthians 4: 18 says, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal." Hebrews 11 speaks of many people who showed great faith (or imagination) who followed the Lord's plans even when they could not see them. After all, Hebrews 11 starts off saying, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Oh the beautiful gift of imagination!!

Whimsical Beauty is Rising

Yesterday was a little crazy so I never got to type out yesterday's blog but here it is!

Whimsical Love Day 2

Do you ever go so fast in life that you forget to look around you? Sometimes we get so focused on a destination that we forget to dance in the rain, see the beauty around us, and notice the people around us who may need some encouragement. I have driven to work so many times and drive straight there and back without ever noticing the beauty around me. As I was driving out of the neighborhood where I nanny, the girls got excited and had me look to our right. There it was. A free and beautiful field filled with bright yellow wild flowers dancing in the wind. All around this field were newly built houses rising up from every nook and cranny. 

Did you know God has created over 230,000 different types of flowers? 

One of my favorite things are open fields with wild flowers. Why? Because its a simple yet creative way The Lord loves on us. We are so focused on destinations sometimes that we forget The Lord is wooing us in more ways we could ever have imagined. We just need to take the time to open our eyes. Life isn't about getting from one destination to another or one stage in life to another. It's about the adventures in between. It's about taking our Father's hand and dancing with Him as He woos His daughters with every step. Before you know it, we will be in His sovereign arms as He carries us through the streets of gold, continuing to woo us with all He has made for us there. It's all to remind us of how loved we are and to remind us of how great our king is!

As I was typing this, one of the girls I nanny brought me some flowers to put in my hair. I gladly did so. Life isn't about keeping your hair perfect and ignoring children. Life is about putting those precious flowers in your hair, as messy as it will be and playing with the children as they have a special place on His heart. When we don't open our eyes to the whimsical things around us, I think we miss out on some of the greatest gifts we have been given. Enjoy each day and the little things around you. 

Whimsical Love Day 1

Have you ever heard a love story or engagement story where there were whimsical details and ideas incorporated in creative ways to show them how much they love them? I don't know about you, but sometimes it's the little details that are my favorite! I love hearing people's engagement stories and hearing about EVERY detail. Yes, I'm that girl. Fortunately, this year some of my favorite people got engaged and I got to hear all about one of the best days of their lives. In fact, when you think about it, all you have to do is look around in order to see whimsical love. We have the most loving father anyone could ever ask for. He created things all around us to woo us and show us how much He loves us in quaint and creative ways. 

Today I am embarking on a 10 day journey to recognizing just how whimsical God's love is for us. I encourage you to do the same and leave comments with ways you saw God's whimsical love that day. I promise, this will be one of the best journeys you have gone on. Take time each day to remind yourself to simply be aware of the beauty around you. It could be something you see or something you feel. God works in different ways! 

Day 1:

This yellow bowl reminds me of the Lord's love in an interesting way. I made this a few years ago in high school art. I remember putting a chunk of blubbery clay on the pottery wheel and going for it. It was not turning out how I had intended at all but I kept going for it. The amount of times I messed it up was more than the amount of times I have had a sporadic dance party (and obviously that's just about every day). Then, when it came time to glaze it, I put a pink glaze all over. Obviously the clay had a mind of its own. I was disappointed at first then loved the way it had turned out. It now sits in my room as a reminder of the way the Lord loves me. I am so broken and so messed up but the Lord chooses to show me grace and makes me into something beautiful and useful. Sometimes, He changes our plans and directions because He loves us. I had a plan of how it should look and boy am I glad it did not turn out the way I had planned. 

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7

Think about it...clay is basically dirt and sand that is made into a substance that can be fired. He takes something so dirty and broken, molds it, refines it in the fire, glazes it, and USES it. What a beautiful picture of the way He loves us. He sees the dirt and loves it enough to make it beautiful, despite its dirt and brokenness. 

Oh to be clay in the Maker's gracious and sovereign hands. He stands ready to craft you into something beautiful. Are you ready?

My Whimsical Journey

Do you ever look back on your life and think about all the ways the Lord has blessed you and loved you in whimsical ways? Every birthday I try to take some time to just simply reflect and praise the Lord. This last Thursday I turned 21...ummm excuse me, what? It was just yesterday I was picking out my Arthur backpack and my Lisa Frank lunchbox for my first day of school and hugging my cat Wanda (...yes, Wanda was a male) goodbye as I jumped in the car headed for Kindergarten. Through the years the Lord has become my best friend who has loved me unconditionally and has loved me in such a beautiful and whimsical way. Here's a glimpse at that journey.

I was blessed to be able to grow up with amazing parents. Even though I did not know Jesus at this point, I knew Jesus through my parents who demonstrated His unconditional love for me since the day I was born. Bless them... they put up with a daughter that probably changed at least 6 times a day. Pretty sure with three older brothers and these incredible parents I probably never had to walk as a toddler. 

Not only was it this over eager beaver's first day of school, but the year when she made the best decision of her life, hands down. I was so blessed to be able to grow up in church and get to hear about Jesus since I was a baby. While rebelling against a nap (oh those glorious days) in Kindergarten, I remember my teacher mentioning if we ever wanted to know more about Jesus or decide to give Him our lives, we could talk to her during nap time. I was wide awake. I was ready. I went up to her and after hearing more explanations of what it meant to follow Jesus, I knew it was time. I'm in awe that the Lord showed me so much grace to help me see my need for Him at 6 years old. I was excited, but there was no immediate change. I still lied to my K5 teacher about a candy bar I had found then stuck it in my backpack. Then, she gave me a note and I remember throwing it away. Wow, rebellious 6 year old huh? But the Lord knew what He was doing and was slowly performing a heart transformation throughout the years.

Ever since I was little, people called me different nick names that had to do with lemurs...the most famous, "lemur girl" in which I signed all my papers in elementary, a classic Shae move. I LOVED lemurs. I even volunteered at a zoo for two years and was their "lemur girl" and got to take care of the lemurs and play with them in my spare time. I remember one night while I was in third grade I began praying about my future and asked the Lord why I liked lemurs so much. His answer was not exactly what I was expecting. That night, the Lord called me to be a missionary in Madagascar, where lemurs are from. I have never been so sure of anything in my life. His still and quiet voice was the clearest it had ever been. I knew He would get me there in His timing, but I had no idea what was to come in 11 short years...

And then comes Junior High.....

Rough picture, huh? Well, let's just say 8th grade was 10X as rough as this picture. In 7th grade I found out we were going to move from Oklahoma to Texas. I was ready for the new adventure but I had no idea how much my world was about to be rocked. After leaving my older brothers who were in college in Oklahoma, my parents and I drove to Dallas to start a new journey. A new school. A new church. New friends. On top of all those challenges, my last two grand parents died 10 days apart shortly after the move. Rough, huh? I began to hate my circumstances and was so confused as to why God was doing this to me. I would pray, "God, can you please just take me back to my family, friends, and my school?". Sometimes the greatest answer to prayer is a no! The Lord brought me contentment and showed me grace as He sought me like a hidden treasure. As hard as that year was, it was the best year of my life. The Lord used it to finally get a hold of my heart and really get my attention. This is where the heart transformation God started on my heart when I was 6 started to leave the prep room and enter the surgery room. As hard and painful as surgeries are, most of us would always choose it because we know the outcome and the joy the results bring. 

After 11 years of waiting for the Lord to open doors to go to my future home, Madagascar, He showed His faithfulness as always. Not only did He show His faithfulness, but did so in an incredible whimsical way. I expected Him to be faithful and open the right doors, but I had no idea what was to come. During my freshman year, I began praying not only for opportunities, but for missionaries to get in contact with. Since Madagascar is a pretty rare place, it was almost impossible for me to find anyone to contact online. One day my roommate walked in and gave me the email address of some missionaries in Mada she saw in DBU's prayer room. WHAT? I got to contact them and even got to meet one of them while on the trip. Then, after searching for mission trips to there for several years a friend called me and let me know his seminary was beginning to reach the people in the South of Mada and would be taking a trip there (last Christmas break). UMMM YES. Then, a friend found a blog of a journeyman in Mada whom I got to get in touch with and even work with him on the trip. The Lord's plans were woven together in such a beautiful and intricate way. I even got to feed a wild lemur and have another one fall asleep in my lap. To me, Lemurs are the most whimsical way the Lord loves on me. holding that lemur (as silly as this sounds) brought me so much joy since I had dreamed about it since I was a little girl. This was no longer a lemur in an American zoo. I WAS THERE and the Lord showed his PERFECT faithfulness. Now, I am planning on going back for the two year journeyman program right after I graduate college.

I am so blessed by a family that has supported me every step of the way and that has loved me unconditionally. You always love family, but I tend to like mine as well =). What studmuffins.